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hl2c_articles - In our inaugural issue, we deal with people's ideas of what should be added to hl2. | Posted by DvS on Aug 18th 04 07:22 PM
As much as I would have liked to say that I received thousands upon thousands of emails
and had to carefully weed out the most intellegent ones, I can't, I got a lousy FOUR emails,
more than half of which were from our own forum members (You do the math). You guys suck!

Last sunday, I posed a question to you, "What do you feel should be added to hl2".
I'm sorry, I couldn't find anything more cliché.

Let the torment begin...

Brian writes:

Hmmm what to be added to HL2.... Well first I think that they should put Gordon and Alyx
in some sort of repair men outfit.... It's perfect!!!! Gordon uses the crowbar and in a
concept drawing Alyx had a ratchet.... Actually I wanna know why VALVe has a fetish for
power tools... I think that HL3's new power tool will be an Allen Wrench... Hell who knows
maybe G-Man's true name is Allen (I don't think his parents were so fucked up to name him the G-Man)...

Oh and to like most of the nerds... I don't think there should be any type of nude Alyx patch...
That ain't really hot more creepy... Maybe Star Wars Galaxy nerds want a Wookie nude patch so the
Wookies do nude dancing in the dancing joints in the game (I don't own it so I don't know the names).
Wookie's...... nude.... .dancing...... Ew.


Well Brian, I can tell you one thing: If you're fantasizing about what game characters wear (or don't),
you can safely bet that you're not playing for our team. As for VALVe's fetishes, I think it stems
from their early days when they had no money and were forced to draw concept sketches
in an old garage living at home, I can just picture it:

Gabe Newell's Mother: Gabe dear! Dinner is ready!
Gabe: Mom, I told you not to talk to me while my game developer friends are over!
Gabe Newell's Mother: But we're having pot-roast!
Gabe: Sorry guys, I really love pot-roast so you're going to have to finish the vortigaunt sketch without me.

As for your naked Wookie obsessions, I think there are plenty of Star Wars Galaxies
support groups who can help you with that.

Steve writes:

Well, I'm not sure yet if there is more cause the game
hasn't came out yet... but porbably vehicles. We have
only seen that one go cart thing, but there should be
as many wehicles as there are is Battelfield(excluding
the aircraft of course). A lot of weapons too, like 70.

You know Steve, there's a reason why I'm lazy, it's because I have a car. If we apply this logic to HL2,
then all Gordon will do is ride around in pretty convertables, and we'll never get to play any inside missions,
I think that qualifies as a bad idea.

As for 70 weapons, let's just say they'd need to sell all of VALVe's cars to produce 70 weapons for one game.
Especcially Gabe's car.

Matt Kazan writes:

i would lieak to say dat teh HL2 should have liaek
totally cool titty physics. and it should be all liEAK
OMG.
at one point alyx should have a total lesbian orgy
with all the C17 chicks... because they are all hot
and horny lieak on that show... i dont remember what
it is, but its a damn good show. you should watch it.

from the smartest guy on the frums


Sadly, yes, he does act like this. We have a picture of this guy where you register
at our forums to scare away anyone who might actually have something insightful to add.

EL3CTRO writes:

Dear DvS,

EVERYBODY knows that the one thing that HL2 is currently missing from
it's vast arsenal is the humble banana. I mean just look at bananas, for
starters they're yellow and slightly curved, much like a bisexual
hedgehog which fell into a pot of yellow paint, however the point is
that if you casually slip a banana skin in front of a combine soldier
then he'll be taken down quicker than a HL2 beta leak.

FACT: Did you know that all combine creatures are allegic to bananas? A
banana tied to a stick and waved around like magebomb fending off the
hoards of HL2C forum members after another HL2 delay is announced will
scare the polygons out of any strider, gunship or whatever.

Just ask Alyx, she loves a man with a big banana.

-EL3CTRO


At last, a man I can agree with. I for one plan on modding one in if VALVe
become so audacious as to exclude the banana from their arsenal,
nobody cares about the manipulator if you can't manipulate bananas. I'll be
finishing the single player while blasting the banana phone soundtrack
into my eardrums in the hope that it's magic rubs off on me.

For the sake of content, I created a little teaser for my mod, City Bananas:




The next mailbag subject is: "What mod (existing or not) would you like to see in source, and why?"


Start racing to your email programs, and fill in mailbag@hl2central.net

-DvS

 
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